The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control:
A Path to Peace and Power
We’ve been looking at perfectionism all wrong. As psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler argues in The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, you don’t have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. For women who are sick of being given the generic advice to “find balance,” a new approach has arrived.
Featuring captivating client stories, a breakdown of the 5 types of perfectionists and how they operate, and a highly accessible, informed exploration of the nuanced psychology of perfectionism. The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control reads alternately like a letter from your best friend and a prescription for peace by one of today’s most brilliant therapists.
It’s time to stop apologizing. It’s time to stop contorting yourself into knots so others aren’t uncomfortable or threatened. It’s time to reclaim the term “perfectionist” in all its glory: driven, dazzling, far-seeing, and whole. Brimming with humor, empathy, and practical wisdom, this book is a clarion call to all women who dare to want more.
Sold in over 30 countries around the globe
Chosen by Amazon's editors as one of the best books of 2023
USA Today’s Best Books of the Year, 2023
The Reviews Are In
“From an emerging thought leader, an irresistible invitation to reclaim your natural state of wholeness, your joy, and your life.”
Deepak Chopra
New York Times best-selling author of Abundance
“Morgan Schafler lays bare provocative new insights into how ‘perfectionism’ is often just code for ‘women excelling too much’ and identifies the strategies and mindset every high-achieving woman needs to quell her inner critic and embrace her true talents.”
Holly Whitaker
New York Times best-selling author of Quit Like A Woman
“A valuable, much-needed perspective on what perfectionism is and how to manage it. This book not only offers a deep look into the mechanics of perfectionism, it teaches you what self-compassion actually means, how to practice self-compassion in your everyday life, and how to give yourself permission to be more in a world that's telling you to be less."
Lori Gottlieb
New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk To Someone and co-host of the "Dear Therapists" podcast
“A thoroughly original approach to this important topic. Grounded in research, the book uses stories from the author’s years as a therapist to illustrate vividly that perfectionism is a phenomenon, not a disorder, and that it can be managed to increase one’s power and joy. How I wish this book had been available years ago – it could have changed my life! Let it change yours.”
Jean Kilbourne
EdD, author, cultural theorist, and feminist activist
“Are you – gasp – an ambitious perfectionist? Have you tried and failed to find that elusive sense of ‘balance’ we’re all meant to seek? If you answered yes to these questions, this is the book you must read. As charming as she is wise, Morgan Schafler has written the definitive guide for anyone who’s ready to walk a crucial pathway: from the appearance of control to the possession of a quiet power.”
Susan Cain
#1 New York Times best-selling author of Quiet and Bittersweet (an Oprah’s book club selection)
“An accessible, actionable guide for how to aim high without overthinking or punishing yourself along the way. This book is a must-read for anxious achievers who want to remain ambitious but could operate with a bit more self-compassion.”
Liz Fosslein
Co-author and illustrator of the best-selling books Big Feelings and No Hard Feelings
“I love a book that starts by normalizing the reader’s current experience. We don’t need to be fixed, we just need a gentle guide to show us how to work with our unique personalities. This book would be my first recommendation to anyone struggling with perfectionism.”
KC Davis
Author of How to Keep House While Drowning
“Combining vivid storytelling, rigorous research, and deep analysis, Katherine Morgan Schafler provides a practical guide that can help you learn, thrive, and flourish.”
Tal Ben-Shahar
New York Times best-selling author of Happier
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